"Okay, so let me get this straight.  You lions hunt and
kill other animals, and you're telling me that they don't
mind?"

  "No.  Well, not as such."

  Naline and I were lazing under the barely sufficient shade
of a hilltop tree.  The hill wasn't very high, but it offered
a great view of the savanna grasslands.  It was late
afternoon, and the relative cool of the evening was beginning
to replace the oven heat of the day.  I had flashed in early
that afternoon and we had wandered the savanna grasslands for
a while before settling down for a nap.  We had been talking
for a while and had presently wandered into the subject of
hunting.


  You see, Naline had finally attained the sufficient size
and skill required to go out hunting with the pride
lionesses.  Recently she had been on her first real honest-
to-goodness, catch-them-and-eat-them, do-or-die hunt, and she
was explaining to me how things worked around here.

  "What do you mean 'not as such?'  You lions purposely get
together, stalk, chase, kill and eat another living being
that has just as much right to live as you do, and you're
telling me that they aren't upset about it?"

  "Of course they're upset.  But they accept it.  They know
that that's just the way things are."

  "They accept it?"

  "Yes."

  "Are they stupid?"


  "No, they know that those are the rules.  We hunt them to
eat, and they try to get away."

  "Rules?  You're not playing a game, you know."

  "No, it's not a game, it's survival.  We all know the
rules, and we live and die by them."  Naline saw my next
question coming, and answered it before I could even ask it.
"Simply put, we try our hardest to hunt them and eat them,
and they try their hardest to get away.  Even if it means
seriously injuring or even killing their hunters."

  "How rude."

  "No, it's just the way things are.  These are the rules
which we all know and live by.  We know the risks and the
rewards, we know what it means to be the hunter and the
hunted."

  "And they don't take it personally?  If someone was trying
to kill me and eat me, I think I would."


  "Of course not, they know as well as we do that those are
the rules of the game."  Naline was getting frustrated by my
apparent lack of understanding.  "We don't do it... I
mean..."  She stared ahead for a while, frowning and
thinking.

  "Well, you hunt, right, Cruz?"

  "Yes, I hunt."

  "Why do you hunt?"

  "To eat."

  "And what would happen if you didn't hunt?"


  "I'd go buy something to eat."

  "Buy?"  Naline was momentarily taken aback.  Buy?  New
concept.

  "Yes, well, you see, where I come from, there's lots and
lots of food available for everyone to eat.  And there
really is no need for anyone to hunt because all you do is
go and get food from the corner grocery."

  "So you don't need to hunt?"

  "No.  There's plenty for everybody."

  "Then why do you do it?"


  "You mean 'you,' as in 'everybody where I come from,' or
'you,' as in 'me personally'?"

  "You, Cruz.  Why do you hunt?"

  "Because I'm here, not there, and I can't just go off and
buy food whenever I want it."

  "But you could bring it, like you did that one time."

  "Yeah."

  "But you don't."


  "No."

  "So you hunt and kill, even though you don't have need."

  "Well, yes... I suppose you could say that."  I didn't
like the way this conversation was going.  She had somehow
managed to turn the tables on me and put me on the defensive.
How was it that she always did that?

  "You come from a land of plenty, where you have all you
could possibly want, and come here, where you hunt, even
though you don't have to, and kill other animals, when you
could have brought food from home.

  "Well, when you put it that way..."  Why was it that I felt
like I'd been caught with my hand in the cookie jar?  Hey, we
were supposed to be talking about Naline, not me.

  "That's horrible!"


  "Beg pardon?"

  "We hunt not because we like to or enjoy it as
entertainment, but because we must.  We either hunt or die.
You do it when you have no need.  That is the worst thing
I've ever heard of!"

  "Hey, I... that is... ahh..."  Well, wasn't this peachy?
Not only had she put me on the hot seat, she'd turned the
heat up to 'crispy.'  Now it was my turn to look frustrated.
I caught Naline smiling triumphantly out of the corner of my
eye.  "Hey, don't smirk at me."

  "Am I wrong?"

  "No, it's just that..."  Oh, might as well admit it, she
had me on the canvas, pinned and down for the count.  "Okay,"
I sighed in defeat, "you got me.  I never expected a predator
to convince me that my hunting was wrong, but you did."  Her
grin got bigger and she puffed out her chest in victory.
"You lions hunt out of need and I don't.  I'll quit hunting
from now on.  Will that make you happy?"

  "Quite."  If she'd been smiling any harder, her teeth would
have fallen out.  "Oh, don't sulk."


  "I'm not sulking."  Actually, I was; I hate it when I'm
wrong.  Rrrrgh.

  "Yes you are."  She leaned over and rubbed her head on my
shoulder, purring like a kitten.  "Will you smile for me?"
She gracefully batted her eyelashes, flashing her striking
emerald eyes.  "Please?  A smile?"

  "Hmmph."  No, I wasn't going to let her win.  Come what
may, I wasn't going to give in and get in a good mood.  She
upped the ante and brushed and stroked against my back with
her soft furry side, as if I was her most favorite person in
the whole wide world.

  "Pleeeease?"  She laid her head on my lap and playfully
swatted my arm with her tail.  She was purring like a
chainsaw and exuding charm like nobody's business.  That was
it, that was too much for me.  I broke down and laughed out
loud.  How could I not?

  "You made me laugh," I frowned, feigning offense, "and now
you must pay."  I flashed what I hoped was an evil-looking
grin.

  "No!"  Naline pretended to be scared, but she was unable
to wholly suppress her good-natured smile.


  "Yes!  And now I'm going to...," I raised my hand and
dramatically flexed my fingers, "tickle you!"

  "Nooo," she squealed.  Through the years, I had learned
exactly where her most ticklish spots were, and I intended
to exploit them fully - every single one of them.  "You'll
have to catch me first!"  She quickly jumped out of my lap
and gave me an "I dare you to catch me" look.

  "You're easy to catch."  I sprung at her and caught nothing
but a handful of air.

  "Missed me."  She smiled a self-satisfied smile.

  I lunged again, this time missing her by mere inches.

  "You're too slow."


  She was right.  Despite all my training and combat
experience, she was still naturally faster and more agile
than me.  Except that I could...

  Flash!  And I was right on top of her.

  "Nooo!  That's cheating!"  I had her firmly by the neck,
tickling her like there was no tomorrow.  She laughed
hysterically and struggled to break free.  "You're cheating!"

  "All's fair in love and war, Kitten."

Bookmark/Search this post with:

delicious | digg | reddit | newsvine | furl | google | yahoo | technorati